i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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