Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
