Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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