I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
