I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
