I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
