How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
