I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
