Plan B is the new Plan A
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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