Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
