So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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