i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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