You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
