I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
