told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
