let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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