due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
