i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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