I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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