Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
