I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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