Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
