Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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