Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
