i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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