If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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