i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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