He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
