Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
