Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
