like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
