Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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