Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
