oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
