I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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