I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize