I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
