he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
