I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
