also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
