Are we in a gay sports bar?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
