i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
now i know why i became what i already was.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
