Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
