the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
