Midget sex pt 2 tonight
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
