At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
