he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
