maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
