with your own penis?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
