just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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