U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
