She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize