I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
