ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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