Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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