You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
