hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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