I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
