therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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