Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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