i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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