Me too!
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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