I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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